My uncle wasn’t a bad man. He just couldn’t stop.
That’s how one woman in North Minneapolis described her family’s experience with problem gambling when we sat down to record an episode of The Conversation. Her uncle wasn’t violent. He wasn’t mean. He was a hard-working man who loved his family and spent years quietly losing money they didn’t have — on scratch tickets, on sports bets, on the casino — and hiding the shame of it until the family nearly fell apart.
Stories like hers are more common than most people realize. And in our community, they’re almost never talked about.
Why We Don’t Talk About It
Problem gambling carries a specific kind of shame that makes it especially hard to address in Black communities. Unlike substance addiction, there’s no visible sign. No smell. No slurred speech. A person can lose their savings, drain their retirement account, miss their rent — and everyone around them may have no idea.
And then there’s the cultural dimension. Gambling has long been woven into African American social life — the numbers game, the card table, the Super Bowl pool at church. When something is familiar, even beloved, it’s much harder to recognize when it crosses a line.
Researchers who study gambling in African American communities have noted that it’s often understood as “hope-seeking” — a way to manage economic stress or reach for something better when traditional paths feel closed off. That framing doesn’t make it a character flaw. It makes it a public health issue rooted in real inequities that deserve real attention.
Signs That Something Has Shifted
Problem gambling looks different from casual gambling in some specific ways. Here’s what to watch for in yourself or someone you love:
• Gambling with money meant for bills, groceries, or rent
• Chasing losses — betting more to try to win back what was lost
• Lying to family members about how much was spent
• Feeling anxious, irritable, or depressed when not gambling
• Borrowing money — or going without — to fund gambling
• Withdrawing from family, friends, or activities that used to bring joy
If any of these feel familiar, it’s not a reason for shame. It’s a reason to reach out.
How to Start the Conversation
You don’t have to have all the answers to bring this up. You just have to care enough to ask. “I’ve been hearing a lot about problem gambling lately and I just wanted to check in with you” is enough to open a door.
In our community, faith leaders, barbers, coaches, and other trusted voices have always been the people who make conversations like this possible. If you’re one of those people, know that you have the power to help someone take their first step.
Help is free, confidential, and available right now in Minnesota:
Call: 800-333-HOPE (4673)